Today, I want to reflect on New Years. Not because I want to make a big deal out of it. But because to many it is a big deal. Everything is planned down to every detail – this one night of the year – like our social lives depended on it. For a long time – that was what I initially thought. It was only until recently it came to me that this night is just another evening. I can make plans, but I don’t have to. I can do whatever I want.
And so I did. I made a deliciously cooked meal. Eat while watching whatever new yearsy things there were on TV. Enjoyed myself. Knitted. And then around midnight I biked through Copenhagen – on one hand the most genius way to watch the fireworks. On the other hand, also the most dangerous way, due to the temporary lawlessness created by drunk people with fireworks.
At some point after 1 am, I realised that I was down in my gut, enjoying myself. I felt like the main character in the end of “How To Be Single” – content and satisfied. For a moment I didn’t need someone else in my life to complete me. I did not need that whole family-picture in order to have fun. I loved the thought that the new year that was to come was for me, and I finally seemed to shelve the whole idea of: soon, very soon the guy I am supposed to be with are going to show up and everyone will see progress in my life as well. I realised that, just because I am not contributing to the flood of engagement- or weddingfotos, baby-pictures and so forth, I have completed something this year. The year of 2016 have been eventful despite most changes have happened on the inside rather than on the outside. And because of that, I allowed myself to let the inside take control for once. For once not giving in to what I thought everyone else expected of me this one evening of the year. And I love it.
The feeling is still present within me. I finally don’t involuntarily scan the room for potential bachelors. I am fine. I am happy the way I am. But don’t worry, chaos lurks around the corner as the day I have been dretting the most are approaching. Tomorrow, I will turn 30.
